one of those days where i just wish i wasn’t alive

had horrible nightmares about my ex and his ex gf last night…talked to my ex again…asked him to send me one of the pictures he took of himself and his ex..idk if seeing that picture helped me or not. he still wants me to apologize for hurting him in our past relationship. i told him i’m not ready. he acts like i’m 

i told my fiance today what happened last night. he wasn’t as jealous as i thought he’d be.but he doesn’t understand my cutting…he told me that if i do it again, it’d be better to break up. wtf?? i told him if he wants to marry me, he has to support me and be there for me with my problems.

i feel so alone right now. like no one understands me. i’m finally coming to the realization that my ex doesn’t love me anymore (as a girlfriend) and i can never go back to him ever. not that i want to but i still feel like he’s a part of me. and now my fiance is having doubts about me because i cut. i feel like my life is falling apart. i want to die.

1. shatteredspirit posted this